Got six seconds for the premiere of my first Vine video? I call it…wait for it… “Cat-tastrophe.”

The piece poses many daring questions, punctures paradigms, and borrows from the anarchistic bent of Hunter S. Thompson. Shot in classic three-act story structure: Exposition, Development and Resolution (Feel the conflict?), this brilliant bit of filmmaking is sure to redefine the feline film genre forever.

There, I said it. Cat videos are killers! Snookums is causing climate change, global warming, and drowning polar bears.

Not so cute all of a sudden. Right?