Opt-in to the Only Non-Pharma Sleep Aid That’ll Knock You Out, FAST!

ComaDose® delivers curated Gen AI content to put you down.

Tired of sleep aids that don’t work? Drop the drugs. Toss the over-the-counter stuff. Gone are your gummies.

Opt in to ComaDose®. We curate the most mundane Gen AI content from LinkedIn and feed it directly to you for fast-acting sleep.

Remember that wonderful, dream-like unconsciousness during your last colonoscopy? ComaDose® delivers that same medical-grade quality of sleep without the probing.

Take advantage of the yawning gap between ComaDose® and traditional sleep aids.

When to Use ComaDose®

• Bedtime Insomnia (8-10 PM)
  Most effective time. Take 5-10 minutes of ComaDose® when you first crawl into bed for fast-acting unconsciousness.
• Mid-Day Energy Crash (1-3 PM)
  Power nap formula. Quick 3-5 minute dose of ComaDose® for refreshing brief coma periods.
• All-Hands Meeting Anxiety (Anytime)
  Calming effect. 2-3 minutes of ComaDose® before sitting through mind-numbing presentations (remember to hide/sit in the back of the room).
• Travel Insomnia (Flights, Hotels)
  Portable sleep aid. ComaDose® works anywhere you have WiFi for instant unconsciousness.
• Weekend Oversleep Prevention (Saturday/Sunday mornings)
  Regulation dose. Use ComaDose® for controlled brief coma periods instead of sleeping until noon.
• Emergency Situations
  Crisis management. When someone starts talking about “digital transformation” or “synergistic solutions,” immediate ComaDose® administration recommended.

Choose Your ComaDose® Formula

ComaDose® Premium (Recommended)

Professionally curated sleep aid. Our bots select the most boring Gen AI content from LinkedIn and deliver it directly to you in concentrated doses.

• Hand-picked Gen AI drivel for maximum effectiveness
• Optimized for fast-acting sleep induction
• Quality-tested for therapeutic boredom
• Available 24/7 through our platform

ComaDose® Generic

DIY sleep aid option. Go directly to linkedin.com/feed and scroll until unconsciousness occurs.

• Free access to unfiltered Gen AI drivel
• Self-administered dosing
• Variable effectiveness depending on feed quality
• No curation guarantee

⚠️ WARNING: Side Effects May Include

Common Side Effects (reported by 90% of users):

• Sudden cringes when opening LinkedIn
• Heightened sensitivity to Gen AI drivel in professional settings
• Spontaneous eye-rolling when encountering “5 Ways AI” posts
• Subtle cerebral atrophy due to gen AI slop

Rare Side Effects (reported by 10% of users):

• Uncontrollable laughter when reading AI transformation content
• Convulsions triggered by lines like, “In today’s fast-paced world…”, “Drive meaningful impact…”, or any of the magical verb trio of unlock, empower or enable
• Reduced tolerance for false AI promises
• Believing the person who says they’re LinkedIn’s #1 voice on something
• Random moments of disillusionment about what you’re reading
• Occasional Tourette’s Syndrome episodes caused by abstract nouns doing physical work, like “Innovation drives growth,” or “Strategy enables alignment.”
• Hallucinations

Serious Side Effects (seek help immediately):

• Ability to scroll LinkedIn for more than 10 minutes without depression
• Genuine engagement with AI “thought leadership” posts
• Delusions that Gen AI will actually transform your business in 30 days
• Thinking that Claude is a real person

If you experience any serious side effects, discontinue use and consult a professional about your AI content tolerance levels.

Do not take ComaDose® while driving, operating heavy equipment, including nuclear submarines, before any major presentation (you’re probably boring enough already), or if pregnant; your gestating child will get enough gen AI slop once they’re out.

Don’t continue taking ComaDose™ if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms for more than one week.

Stop Comadose™ altogether if your work is getting sloppier.

Remember that wonderful colonoscopy unconsciousness? That’s what good gen AI-induced sleep feels like with ComaDose® without the rectal exam.

Ours is more mental – delivering you curated gen AI content so you can slop into bed and go to sleep, fast.